Sunday, June 21, 2009

Why I Did Not Wish My Dad Happy Father's Day

Welcome to my family! This is my Father, my Mother, my son and my daughter. This picture was taken in September of 2006. I have more pictures from this day! Here is my favorite:

I simply adore the way that my Father is looking at my son! I have this picture on my desk at work because it does and always will remind me what is important in life.

Today is Father's Day. I did Quotable Sunday and yet did not mention my own father. Don't get me wrong...My husband is simply one of the best Fathers around. Yet I did not mention my own Dad.
Some things are just to painful to talk about, yet I want to share it here.

My Dad died in May of 2008 from Non-Hodgkin-Lymphoma (NHL). A very nasty form of Cancer... for him. Burketts to be specific. When you are young, you can beat NHL very successfully I am told, but my Father was not young. He was 76 and the Cancer Bastard beat him.

Death is hard to deal with, just ask my fellow blogger Fiona, who spelled it out way better than I ever could have here: I Name You, Grief. Get Off My Ass. Grief sucks!! Now you all know my deep dark secret too. Grief sucks, Death sucks, and yet despite baring my intimate feelings I have more. Do you see the super nice lady in the photo above? That is my Mother. Need I say more?? She lost her Soul Mate...Yes I believe in Soul Mates, I have one, so did my mother. I can't even begin to understand the depth of what she has lost. My grief is so pale in comparison to what she has to go through day in and day out. I just can't even fathom it.

I did not post this with the intent for sympathy, although I know I will get it. I just had to let the few that follow me know a little about me...Such as why I did not recoginze my dear, dear Dad on this day. Now you know why.

This quote came to me over and over today as I read other Quotable Sunday posts (I knew it would too)

Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes.
-- Gloria Naylor



Martha in PA said...

I am sorry for your loss. My dad died years ago, but I still miss him every day.

Bee and Rose said...

My sweet bloggy friend...I am sending you and your mother lots of hugs:) I

Your post moved me to tears. Thank you for sharing with us. I'm here for you...

Nina said...

My heart goes out to you. I couldn't imagine losing my father.

Yesterday in church they did the children's message and asked each kid what they loved about their dad The pastor got to my cousins little girl (age 7) he reminded her that her dad was with us in spirit. He died last July in an accident. It just brought tears to my eyes to think her and her brothers are with out their dad today.

blueviolet said...

I completely feel your pain. I lost my dad in June 2008, next week makes it one year. It killed me to read all of the Father's Day posts everyone had and I couldn't share in their joy. I miss him so terribly much! Hugz to you!

Jennifer Leigh said...

:( So Sorry! My father almost died when I was little of hotchkins lymphoma. Luckily he was young and pulled through. I'm so sorry yours did not. Losing a parent must be very difficult.